Never try to go unnoticed in a small town.
It is near impossible.
If not completely impossible.
Currently, while in my metamorphosis stage of pupae I have been traveling to a small town close by as part of my job. Each week, at least twice, a trip to the local library is involved. It is interesting to read the newspaper, skim the new books that have just come in, or look up the meaning of my most recent dreams in a book I believe should be in the resource area rather than be checked out. During my recent (3 months) interest in living off-grid in a tiny house, I have found there are not many books on the subject of any substance. So... on one such adventurous outing to the library I asked if they had any books on the subject and the polite librarian gave me a form to fill out for an inter-library loan. That was about 2 months ago. A week later, I asked, and the book had just come in. It was written in the 50's. I giggled, checked out the book and thumbed through it before I went to bed that night... interesting, but not much help.
The weeks passed.
I thought nothing of it...
We have been in the library several times, said hello to at least 3 different librarians, read, looked at the internet on their computers, browsed the dvd's for when my netflix are in transit and bought things at their fundraiser bake sale.
Last week as I was sitting and reading, the librarian, the one who had done the loan from the other library, approached me and said "I haven't forgotten about the off-grid books you were looking for, so I have checked back with them several times and we have another book that should be here for you soon."
Hmmmmm, and here I thought I was incognito....
Btw, they called today, while I was parking the car outside the library, to let me know the book was in.
The title is World Changing: A User's Guide for the 21st Century.
It is about the size of Moby Dick... so skimming and searching will commence before reading...
Just remember, a free thinker will stand out from the crowd, whether in a small town or a big city, it is just easier to be incognito in a big city...
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
Hindsight... it ain't looking through your rearview mirror
The last guy I dated/lived with
however briefly
asked me
in a very upset voice late at night
"why do you want to talk when it is time to go to sleep?"
and I didn't know the answer,
until yesterday.
My clients come home every evening
sometimes to have a family dinner
this particular night was one.
They sat and talked about their issues,
personal and professional,
in front of their children,
who eat with their fingers instead of using utensils
which they are given
and not any attention paid to or conversations were had with these small charges, who were well aware their choices for behavior were going unnoticed by their paternal beings at the same table....
and as I observed
I thought back to when my boys were small
and being raised with step brothers and sister
and what our family dinners were like
As much as I would like to think that we asked the children
about their day,
or talked to them about what was going on in their lives
I am not positive we did
what I do remember
is that each night
when we went to bed
is when we discussed our day
and what was going on
Some of which was not any business of the children or
at least didn't need to be said in front of them
Then, and only then did I remember being asked
why I talk when we get in bed to sleep
and now I remember why....
then I thought
and I still do
I think it is nice to lay down in a bed
with a significant other
and talk, without noise or interruption, nor distraction
of your day, hopes, wishes, worries or dreams...
while someone holds you, or touches your feet with theirs
it is one of those little things in life that makes it
oh so much better...
so...
don't let someone make you feel bad about something so simple and enjoyable...
they don't realize how special it is... so show them...
however briefly
asked me
in a very upset voice late at night
"why do you want to talk when it is time to go to sleep?"
and I didn't know the answer,
until yesterday.
My clients come home every evening
sometimes to have a family dinner
this particular night was one.
They sat and talked about their issues,
personal and professional,
in front of their children,
who eat with their fingers instead of using utensils
which they are given
and not any attention paid to or conversations were had with these small charges, who were well aware their choices for behavior were going unnoticed by their paternal beings at the same table....
and as I observed
I thought back to when my boys were small
and being raised with step brothers and sister
and what our family dinners were like
As much as I would like to think that we asked the children
about their day,
or talked to them about what was going on in their lives
I am not positive we did
what I do remember
is that each night
when we went to bed
is when we discussed our day
and what was going on
Some of which was not any business of the children or
at least didn't need to be said in front of them
Then, and only then did I remember being asked
why I talk when we get in bed to sleep
and now I remember why....
then I thought
and I still do
I think it is nice to lay down in a bed
with a significant other
and talk, without noise or interruption, nor distraction
of your day, hopes, wishes, worries or dreams...
while someone holds you, or touches your feet with theirs
it is one of those little things in life that makes it
oh so much better...
so...
don't let someone make you feel bad about something so simple and enjoyable...
they don't realize how special it is... so show them...
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
It was only a Dream
As a teenager, I could easily sleep 12 hours or more a night, mostly on my stomach.
Later, after I was a young adult and after I had children of my own, I could still sleep a very long time. More than once I was asked or an insinuation was made that I slept "too much". Fantastically, and as hard as it might seem, this is when my mother would come to my defense and tell me that I had always needed more sleep than most people. It is still true.
As the "new me" emerges, after years of too little sleep, not being able to sleep on my back or my stomach anymore and years of insomnia due to unrest in my personal and professional life, I find I can again sleep 10 hours and still not want to crawl out of bed in the morning. Along with my newfound peaceful rest are dreams.
Dreams of bacon, piles and piles of it, raw and in wait for me to create some delicious morsel of an appetizer, yet it is unclear from recollection of the dream if it was my favorite stuffed japs or some other concoction. With bacon, anything is better. So that morning I woke up, and of course, wanted a BLT with hashbrowns and set out for the nearest Jims to have breakfast.
A while back it one with me hiking with my adopted brother over a landscape of rolling hills with holes in them, like something Dr. Seuss would dream up, dipping in and out of the connected holes, and a slow polar bear in front of us. I slapped the bear on the ass and told him to hurry up....
Then there are the houses with numerous rooms that lead from one to another, turn into my former workplace and a screaming out-of-control control freak of a boss and me standing there naked...
It is apparent I dream much and remember little, but sometimes I do and I ponder as to what it all means. After all, our brains filter and digest everything from our day and pysche as we sleep doesn't it? sort of? So, I have had plenty to work on for many many years... and now I am in catch-up mode I am sure.
My all time most repetitive dream is of being in a small cave-like indention in a mountain, next to the road. I am about 6 or 7 and with my family on a vacation. As I stand in the cave, looking at the rock layers of the wall, a bee buzzes around me and my oldest brother is standing there, and then the bee stings me and I wake up.
My favorite and most heart breaking dream is when I was a teen and I dreamt of falling in love with a boy, only to wake up and realize he was merely a dream. I still remember his name, his vehicle and how he looked to me in my dream. I still have to stop and look at anyone driving an avocado green double cab ford pickup when I see one. Maybe I will find him one day....
Last night, or early this morning, it was a dream of a lotto ticket.
I was checking my numbers,
and I had one,
two,
three, four....
five
Five out of Six... woo hoo
so I gathered up all my tickets
over the last month
and put them in a safe place, and
thought, well...
I wonder how much money 5 out of 6 numbers will be...
After I woke up,
realized it was a chilly morning
for late March, lazed around in bed reading blogs, and finally dressed and messaged a friend for the weather report, to make sure my choice of dress for the day was appropriate, I realized...
I WON THE LOTTO LAST NIGHT....
oh, oh yeah
It was only a dream....
Maybe dreams really do come true.....
I would like to think we can all make our dreams come true, if we don't get caught up in all the other "stuff" out there...
Later, after I was a young adult and after I had children of my own, I could still sleep a very long time. More than once I was asked or an insinuation was made that I slept "too much". Fantastically, and as hard as it might seem, this is when my mother would come to my defense and tell me that I had always needed more sleep than most people. It is still true.
As the "new me" emerges, after years of too little sleep, not being able to sleep on my back or my stomach anymore and years of insomnia due to unrest in my personal and professional life, I find I can again sleep 10 hours and still not want to crawl out of bed in the morning. Along with my newfound peaceful rest are dreams.
Dreams of bacon, piles and piles of it, raw and in wait for me to create some delicious morsel of an appetizer, yet it is unclear from recollection of the dream if it was my favorite stuffed japs or some other concoction. With bacon, anything is better. So that morning I woke up, and of course, wanted a BLT with hashbrowns and set out for the nearest Jims to have breakfast.
A while back it one with me hiking with my adopted brother over a landscape of rolling hills with holes in them, like something Dr. Seuss would dream up, dipping in and out of the connected holes, and a slow polar bear in front of us. I slapped the bear on the ass and told him to hurry up....
Then there are the houses with numerous rooms that lead from one to another, turn into my former workplace and a screaming out-of-control control freak of a boss and me standing there naked...
It is apparent I dream much and remember little, but sometimes I do and I ponder as to what it all means. After all, our brains filter and digest everything from our day and pysche as we sleep doesn't it? sort of? So, I have had plenty to work on for many many years... and now I am in catch-up mode I am sure.
My all time most repetitive dream is of being in a small cave-like indention in a mountain, next to the road. I am about 6 or 7 and with my family on a vacation. As I stand in the cave, looking at the rock layers of the wall, a bee buzzes around me and my oldest brother is standing there, and then the bee stings me and I wake up.
My favorite and most heart breaking dream is when I was a teen and I dreamt of falling in love with a boy, only to wake up and realize he was merely a dream. I still remember his name, his vehicle and how he looked to me in my dream. I still have to stop and look at anyone driving an avocado green double cab ford pickup when I see one. Maybe I will find him one day....
Last night, or early this morning, it was a dream of a lotto ticket.
I was checking my numbers,
and I had one,
two,
three, four....
five
Five out of Six... woo hoo
so I gathered up all my tickets
over the last month
and put them in a safe place, and
thought, well...
I wonder how much money 5 out of 6 numbers will be...
After I woke up,
realized it was a chilly morning
for late March, lazed around in bed reading blogs, and finally dressed and messaged a friend for the weather report, to make sure my choice of dress for the day was appropriate, I realized...
I WON THE LOTTO LAST NIGHT....
oh, oh yeah
It was only a dream....
Maybe dreams really do come true.....
I would like to think we can all make our dreams come true, if we don't get caught up in all the other "stuff" out there...
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
I Just (K)New It!
New Life
New Email
New Blog
Welcome to my new blog, dedicated with love to my two sons and my mother, Mary Elizabeth.
When the boys wonder more about their mom as a person and woman, rather than just their mother, perhaps the stories and daily writings will be enlightening for them.
Ya (my mother's nickname), I hope you will be proud. We miss you terribly and love you dearly.
For those along for the ride, I welcome you, and who could ever say they had too many friends? Not me, that is for sure!
New Email
New Blog
Welcome to my new blog, dedicated with love to my two sons and my mother, Mary Elizabeth.
When the boys wonder more about their mom as a person and woman, rather than just their mother, perhaps the stories and daily writings will be enlightening for them.
Ya (my mother's nickname), I hope you will be proud. We miss you terribly and love you dearly.
For those along for the ride, I welcome you, and who could ever say they had too many friends? Not me, that is for sure!
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